is Santa real?

"Is Santa real, Mom?" my nine, almost ten year old daughter asked the week before Christmas this year. My heart sank. I knew this question was coming; I just hoped it would wait a week. She is my first child with 5 more right behind her; I knew the truth could change our home forever, and I love the magic that only a child holds at Christmas.

She patiently asked again, "Mom, is Santa real?"

I heard the words, "What do you think?" coming from my mouth and waited with bated breath.

She thought for a moment, held out her hands, palms up, and while moving them up and down alternately said, "I'm like this. Not sure. part of me thinks he is, but L--- E---------said that he's not. He says, he asks his parents lots of questions, and they told him that Santa isn't real."

"Dang L.E.!" Was my first thought. My second thought was, "What do I say now?"

I just stuck with my original response, "Well, what do you think?"

Finally she came out with it, "I don't really think that it could be like in the movies, with the elves and stuff, but maybe it is just, like, well, someone really nice in the neighborhood."

My heart leaped as I realized how badly she still wanted to believe, but her reasoning skills were pushing out the "traditional santa belief."

The truth is my daughter had found some truth in her search for the answer to this question. The past two Christmases our family has struggled paying our monthly bills. After my husband's lay off from work in October 2008 followed by the struggles of starting two new businesses money for gifts was in short supply. Both years we were blessed by kind-hearted, generous people who bestowed gifts on our family. Sometimes we knew who the gifts were from, but many kindnesses and generosities were given anonymously. I have given anyonymous gifts many times in my life. I know the joy of pure selfless giving--nothing to be given back in return. I now know a different joy from the opposite side: receiving an anonymous gift. When you don't know who has blessed your life you then begin to think that everyone has. It changes how you view people. It could have been her or him or them. My heart swells with gratitude for everyone!(I digress; I'll now return to my daughter's conversation.)

I hesitated only a moment while I gathered my thoughts. I said a silent prayer, "don't let me ruin Christmas for my daughter!"

Then the words began to flow more eloquently in the moment than if I had lay awake all night preparing beforehand. "Josie, you're right. It isn't exactly like the movies with the North Pole and reindeer and a big jolly man sliding down chimineys. Santa Claus is the symbol the world gives children for their hopes and dreams of treasured toys. The magic is that we get to hope and dream and believe. Sometimes it is hoping against hope and knowing it is impossible and then somehow the impossible happens. Other times it is thinking we know exactly what we want and then we don't get it, but we get something else even better than we could even imagine. Maybe once in awhile it is not getting all that we want or hope for, but we learn gratitude for all that we have. And yes, sometimes it is parents or grandparents making that happen and sometimes it is nice people in the neighborhood, but always it is people sacrificing to make other people happy! That is the magic of Christmas!

Her face lit up and she said, "I knew it! Heavenly Father just blesses our lives!"

This was a perfect introduction into the deeper meaning of the holiday. I explained that the gifts we exchange are a symbol of God's gift to us. He sent His son to Earth to save us so that we can return to live with Him. We give gifts to remember the "Greatest Gift." The truth about Santa turned out to be a better discussion than I could have planned.

As we were walking out of my room I asked, "so Josie what do you say if someone asks you 'Do you believe in Santa?'"

She smiled and responded, "Oh, I believe!!" I returned her smile, gave her a big hug, and said, "I believe too!"