dilema

O.K. I opened my email this morning and read a comment that was left on my last post, and I felt so sick to my stomach I almost vomitted. Could someone reall write that on my blog? There are some really disturbed people in the world.

During the auction I had removed restrictions so that anyone who wanted to bid on an item could do so even if they didn't want to sign up for a google account. This opened the door for "anyone" out in the sick world to post on my blog. I apologize if anyone saw it this morning before I was able to figure out how to remove it; then I had to figure out how to change my settings back to give me more control over what can be posted to my blog.

This has left me contemplating two different questions. One, how do I feel about free speech? And two, how do I feel about blogging and technology in general?

I support free speech. I think people should have a voice. I think they should be able to believe how they want, and they should be able to express their views. With this freedom comes responsibility. Every freedom has a price. If someone wants to express themselves in a sexually explicit way, I guess they have that right, but only if it doesn't take away my rights to honor theirs. I have rights too! They shouldn't have the right to enter my space and force me to read there perversions. Everyone has the right to relieve themselves of a bodily function, but that doesn't mean they have the right to walk in my house and defecate on my kitchen floor! That is how I felt this morning after looking at my own blog. Needless to say I have changed my settings.

My husband has long been leery about blogs! He is a big part of the reason that I didn't start a blog until 7 months ago. He doesn't like it that he can google my name and find pictures of me and the kids on the world wide web. He doesn't like it that people can come peek into our lives through the things that I write on my blog. He is also ultra paranoid about crazies and stalkers and he thinks this is a perfect opportunity for the deranged to find me. (Now I don't really think that I'm interesting enough for some deranged stalker to bother to come find me.--and I am not issuing a challenge). I admit to being an open book and I pretty much say what I think and feel all the time anyway. Even if I don't say it my face usually does. I'm not good at hiding anything. Out of respect for my husband though, I do try to leave him out of my blog as much as possible. . . .well sometimes. The truth is he hardly ever reads it anyway. I know that there are dangers with technology. I found myself highly offended this morning; however, I can't throw away all the good that comes with the bad.

Through my blog and facebook I have been able to contact and stay in contact with so many people that I love and care about. I have also been able to document the daily happenings in my life that probably wouldn't have been recorded otherwise. And undeniably, I never could have had such a quick response and outpouring of love and help for my father-in-law without blogs and facebook and other networking sites. I am still in "shock and awe" (remember that overused phrase of a few years ago) that we, the collective people who love Garth Abbott or just good people who wanted to help him, were able to raise almost $30,000 in a matter of three weeks. This came from people donating items, services, talents, and then more people donating their money for these things. The auction itself raised $20,000. Another $8,000 was raised just in straight donations, and I'm sure that more donations will continue to trickle in. All of this is happening in the midst of the worst financial crises in our lifetime. Money is not the only miracle in this experience. The greater miracle is the uniting in prayer and fasting and love. Many more people were able to pray for him because they knew.

I am left asking myself is it worth it? Do the potential risks and evils of this technology weigh heavier than the potential good? I can't answer for my husband or anyone else, but for me it is worth it. It is powerful to be able to cross lakes, leap mountains, and stretch across oceans from the lonely computer desk sitting in my loft. To be linked to people, good people, in such a way renews my faith in mankind. It helps to chase out the bleak, dark moments that lurk in the shadows of my day. It restores hope to the things I believe. It strengthens me to see so much goodness in others. I will not be deterred by deranged sickos!