"mama hunger"

Last week I read a post on a friend's blog that left me pondering all week. If you are up to reading some good writing and contemplating some thought provoking questions check it out at http://thechocolatechipwaffle.blogspot.com Her button is on my sidebar. You know how sometimes the value of your friend's abilities are diminished because, well, after all it is "just. . . your friend." I no longer think of the author of the Chocolatechipwaffle as my friend. . . .Terresa is, but not the author of the blog! I guess this falls somewhere along the lines of a prophet is a prophet everywhere but his own country (loose translation). I wonder what J.K. Rowling's friends think of her? I wonder how many of our friend's and family's talents and abilities we trample under foot? That's an entirely different post for another day.

I tried to copy her post of this particular day into my blog, but the punctuation didn't stay as she wrote it. Sorry Terresa. If I was a better friend I would probably find a way to do it right, but that would require time and patience. I'm running low on both of those right now.!

Here is her poem and the ensuing question that didn't let my brain relax for an entire week!

Today, in the afternoon hush before my children tumble off the school bus, lunch boxes sticky with apple juice and orange rinds,fingers gray, smeared from number-two pencils,before the homework confetti showers our circa 1980's kitchen, couch, and crayoned pine table,I think of having another baby.Today.I grab my husband, ravenous,and undress in one fluid motion.We feast together, creating another child,our fifth, the possibilities flowing through us like a loch: deep, untouched, Godlike.The light blazes through our green velvet curtains in slivers of gold,and everything is possible:calling the sun, holding it, melting and warm between us,shining while my womb sings.I do this before my body even knows it,before mind, thought, terror sets in and I fall,an anchor, a stone, a mother star,aching, heavy, kissing the earth with the weight of it.Or maybe not today.Tomorrow.--Terresa Wellborn

Does the mama hunger to have more children ever diminish?




Here is my response to her question:


I didn't post right away because I have been digesting this one for a few days. . . . with six kids and hanging on by a thread most days, my heart still yearns for more babies. While analyzing the complexity of this dilemma, I have stumbled upon this truth: Love breeds Love. I think the more love we feel and give the more we want to feel and give. This is the Divine in us coming to the surface. This is one of the attributes that ties us to an all-loving God and reminds us that we are HIS! In what other way do we share in God's power as much as when creating life and giving life? These are the pinnacle moments in which we become most like God in this mortal experience. Is it any wonder that our hearts crave more? The "mama hunger" was with us before this life and will still continue with us after this life. It is eternal. It is what makes us women. Whether or not a woman experiences this gift of giving life during this mortal passageway or not until somewhere far off in the eternities, it is the Divine within us that yearns to be a creator.

I continue to ponder this question. I will probably be pondering this question at one level or another for the rest of my life. I don't know if my mortal womb is forever closed. My head says it is. My bank account says it better be. I think my family and friends would say, "you have your hands full." (I think that is their way of politely saying we should be done!). The world would say, "you should have stopped four or five kids ago!" But my heart still aches for more!